I’ve told myself for awhile, that, even though I’m fat, I carry it well. I don’t let it all hang out, I dress modestly, and the clothes I wear make my figure look less corpulent than otherwise. All that said, I’m tired of carrying around the gut. I think I’m going to try this losing weight thing. But first, I need to find out how much my fat ass weighs.
Plan A: Crash Dieting
Plan B: Crash Exercise
Plan C: Perm
Plan D: Anorexia
Plan E: Bulimia
Plan F: Perm of All 4
Plan G: Perm of B D and E.
Plan H: A reasonable Diet and exercise regime.
I haven’t really figured out what Plan H will consist of. Probably some leisure walking, since I really don’t have any wind to speak of. The dieting will probably be more touch and go. I certainly am not going to be one of those creatures who exist solely on carrot sticks and bottled water. We shall see how this works.
Disclaimer: Anyone who thinks I’m seriously advocating Anorexia or Bulimia as diet plans should obviously look at the tenor of which they were proposed.